An Unsolved Jigsaw ...

Swirls of white smoke fuming could be seen all around the tiny me. Mesmerized   , awed and with little knot of fear tucked in heart , I looked around to find the source of it. Mystic it was, I could see everything(or should I say shadows of it) still I was not able to make out anything. Initial few hurried attempts went down the drain when to my utter shock ,the harder I tried to run, to touch anything, to think , to concentrate  , it all resulted in blanket of smoke becoming denser all around me .It was like a marsh. Huffed and puffed I was  , stayed right there where  I was with not an inch of muscle moving. The wisps of smoke swirling started fading out and the whole scene became clearer.  Soon , I was in front of a cluttered stack. Lying besides it was a tattered yellow sheet of paper tapped at various places. A closer look at it made a shiver run down the spine. There lay in front of my eyes a detailed plan of my life with a few blocks added later and few crossed out or rewritten in different way. The irony of the situation was the stark difference in the way it was in detailed plan and how all the things heaped up in a clutter. Little self-pitied, I picked up a thing or two to examine and all the other things started to topple. In an attempt to gather and maintain a balance, I was just too occupied to notice in which order they were supposed to be. There was everything one can think of to find in a platter. There laid tenderness of love wrapped in a scented tissue ,stiff determination bundled with a rock solid will ,emotional tears in a tiny half – filled bottle , memories scattered in the form of photographs – some old and battered ,some still smelling just fresh, a jar filled with stones of all shapes and sizes with still gaps visible in between.

A file stuffed with all the facts about me , few sheets brought proud smile while other punctured it. There was a thick diary documenting me with few pages left blank in the middle, some crossed out in an angry way with cuts still visible across the sheet, some written in hurried writing, some had tiny dried flowers pressed in between  and fragrance still lingering, some were of glossy paper with a ring of laughter hidden while some wore a solemn look and were rough. While flipping it , I can feel tears rolling , few little droplets reluctant to leave the corners of eye or sometimes  pouring like a cloud burst or just a moist glint in eyes. But how to put the jigsaw puzzle pieces in the right place is a task in itself. Perhaps  I would be able to better direct my life when it is in more structured form or should I just leave it like that to let the destiny decide what it has thought for me . With life moving  at such a pace , it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to analyze what is happening around me and how things need to be planned for a better life ahead. May be the love for a much sought after ‘better life’ is making me not enjoy the present one with clouds of uncertainty and anxiety hovering above. What is the best way ? To look up the limitless sky and count the stars or just caress the grass as you pass through green pastures and stop  to take in the sweet fragrance of the violets.

Yum bee aye – The new way of life!

A fresh shower of rains welcomed me into a new city, new way of life with a sprinkle of drops on my face. I rubbed my eyes which still had droplets of sleep residing in them .Even the plain water has become acidic and a ritual splash burns the eyes. After a splash or two only, I could gather my senses which deprivation of sleep has slowed down. Yes, I am in MBA world and have been inducted recently only (you can gauge that from my tone which reeks of crib).Being a part of this was the most sought-after thing for past few years and all that revolved around in my brain were tiny bits of quant formulae or abstruse words .

Now after being inducted in elite world of prospective managers, I find myself all muddled up in the tons of information, jargons and theories around. Is that what I expected from my next two years of life? If I say yes, would you all give me dirty looks on why I am in complaining mode!! Ok, Yes I had a fair idea but it is just that we choose to turn a blind eye in our case. Ignorance is bliss! No , not anymore ! Here, at every stage being the ignorant one makes you feel stupid or whether you are not worthy enough to take this prestigious seat. Oh no, I am going down the well full of such pessimistic thoughts.

Not just coping with the ever increasing heap of assignments, presentations, role plays ,pre readings, post readings is the only task that is on the top of my brain stack, but coping with new city ,new environment ,new people is the similar one.I have hardly been out of my hometown, pertaining to being the capital and almost all the things at easy disposal and not much molded to live beyond the comfort of home. Here I am ,away from the hustle bustle of Delhi to much quieter metropolitan. Things look different especially when we start comparing and comparison come running natural.Aren't we all biased about our hometown and that bliss we found there is not anywhere. But but.. isn't this biasness is not letting me welcome myself into this new city with open arms? Yes !!

Though saw some of the famous places in the city and also partied once here, there is lot more to do to fall in love with this new city ,my gonna-be home for next two years and most importantly with this new way of life.The hectic life is to be inculcated within myself to enjoy each and every moment ,to come out with a big smile be it little quiz,competition,exam or assignment deadlines ,everything! MBA is a lifetime experience and not to be downed in cribs.

Blogathon over ,what next ?

As everybody who was irritated by my every-day post is now breathing a sigh of relief for one whole month.When I thought about participating in that month long blogathon last year in June , I never assumed that it is going to be such tough for me to write everyday.Sooner than later all my creative juices just dried down and as it is advised that not much dieting is good for health ,similarly not too much blogging is good for the mental health!Generally it is advised to write one in a week.Even I have always thought the same but implementation and planning always have some gap.May be while balancing lots of other things ,I would be again as active as I was in my peak time in blogging.Time management is just creeping in my veins with only a week down in IIFT.Perhaps when I was more free than I was not able to pen down many a times.Lethargy is one big enemy.

But it was all gone when I was running in blogathon.Sometimes,I used to writing in half sleep with no time to edit ,sometimes picking up notepad with a clueless mind and end up writing what I never thought would write.Such things do come up only when you are under pressure .Though participating and completing was totally personal decision ,still a will to complete the same was one thing that kept me going even though I was much fatigued in first week end only.

Selecting different themes for the different weeks though helped me stay on the better side of the narrow line opposite which there is only one thing : quit.Writing about the street food of delhi was one thing which I incorporated.There were elements of angels and devils in my posts too with some optimism and pessimism sprinkled here and there.

So,what's next ? Now ,since my geographic location is changed(still a delhite by heart ) , I will be writing more about the new city and my experiences here.Since professional writing is also going to be part of my learning,my writing is 'expected' to be better and hopefull more mature.But these are only hopes,expectations,aspirations but to see whether it actually gets implemented that is the one thing which only future will tell.

Signing off for today :)

Sand Dunes: Part 3

A stroke of mascara, a hint of gloss, tinkling of ear rings and Paridhi was ready. Today from morning itself she had a spring in her step and a constant smile on her lips. Checking herself again in the mirror, she stepped outside to get an auto rickshaw. Today she was meeting Amu after a long wait of one month. Its been two years since her best friend has got promoted to be her love of life.

After initial hiccups in the beginning of the journey, some bruises here and there, their car is now back on track on a smooth road ahead. Problem was not in not knowing each other temperament but every relation has its own flavors and conditions. To gel with them is always a challenge, once you have understood, everything becomes fine. Still there are arguments but not important enough to reconsider decisions. They are just a part of life now, like bubbles that you notice but blow it away and not take seriously.

And what brought some sense to this little girl, is the real truth of life. We all have heard it often that do not take anything for granted. But only when the fear of losing someone or something looms over, then you realize the real importance of that someone/thing in your life. Then all the small arguments look irrelevant in front of whole life.

When she was sure of what she wants in life and from that moment, life seemed better. She was lucky to have someone special by her side always .Bestest friend for life in the real sense, with whom she can be just herself ,no pretentions and no fear of getting judged every moment.Even Amu is now happy with a sense of peace settling in.

One say that love stories should have happy endings. I say that they shouldn’t have any endings at all. Love is for life and it goes on and on till you take your last breath. 

Life is like a sand dune, one moment it is here and as the wind of time blows, it moves to entirely different place, changing in its shape and slope.

Sand dunes: Part 2

Sitting with her face hidden in palms, Paridhi looked so different than her six month ago self. It was hard to find any trace of bubbliness on her teary eyed kohl smudged face. It seems like all the tensions of the world have fallen on her petite shoulders. Though in reality, problems weren’t much intense they just had bad impact on her. And most importantly this time around, she was finding herself alone.

The relationship where transition seemed utterly seamless has changed its colors too. Naive Paridhi just thought that being bestest friends to being in relationship won’t change much. But as it applies to all other things it was true here too. You have to be there ,to understand it. She still loved him liked Amu like before .But some expectations and responsibilities shift their position.

You are never answerable to even your bestest friends but from day one of being in one such relationships it changes too. Expectations take a major turn too and some things which never was there crawls in the form of insecurity and possessiveness. Soon the discussions, explanations lead to argument, smaller to bigger. More you want to end or avoid them, more they creep in from nowhere, usually from any harmless topic.

She just want to have some peace and she knew Amu would want the same. How to be just normal? They could find an answer for it. On top of all, the exams, submissions, presentations, inability to concentrate on studies, poor grades were taking their toll on her poor mind and body.

Tears rolled down her eyes and she whipped them clean umpteenth time, before trying his number again. He has switched off, his phone after a rough argument .She wanted to call it peace. Weak she has become from within, she wanted to just run away to some place far away from all this. A peace of mind ,that’s all she wanted as of now.

Sand dunes : Part 1

Cool breeze was flowing playing with the tresses of Paridhi. She was sitting on a rock far away from the crowd gathered around the bon fire. Few minutes before, she was also with her buddies, playing truth and dare, the most popular one which almost all bon fires witness. But all the time, her heart was yearning to sit in peace on the river side. On the pretext of calling home, she strolled towards the open bank.

The breeze was so cool and refreshing that all the tiredness of the day vaporized in minutes .After finding the perfect spot on a rock, she settled herself .Clad in a loose earthy tunic and shorts ,with hair tied loosely with a silk scarf, she blended perfectly with the picturesque setting.

Lost she was in thoughts, that she didn’t take notice of the faint footsteps coming towards her. Only when a soft familiar voice whispered ‘Pari’ ,her eyes darted sideways. Two tea glasses of tea and her bestest friend Amu (as she lovingly called Arman) were waiting for her. Usually the chirpy bubbly self Paridhi was today in mood to be her usual self. She gave a warm smile, took the glasses from his hand , placed them on stone and extended her arm to pull him up. She was a mystery to others and sometimes to herself too but she was often surprised on being an open book for Amu. Without her uttering a single word or giving any intentional hint, he used to know everything just by looking at her. This time, also when breeze was giving her a little chill, he was there with her stole which she has left behind near bonfire and tea, her favorite. Silently, they enjoyed every sip of hot tea in the pleasant weather. They usually have an umpteen number of topics to talk about and can talk anything under the sun. But today, both preferred silence.

Paridhi looked at him in between the tea sips and saw Amu looking at her too with the usual twinkle in his eyes. But there was something else too today which was different. His eyes were glittering with overflowing affection with hint of love, so much that she blushed for the first time.

Full moon light was enhancing the blush on her cheeks and moist glint in his eyes. Their hands rubbed past as she adjusted her stole. She was surprised on how the same touch is now so different ,so special than the past. In the past, they kept on playfully punching each other whole day along and didn’t feel a thing. She held his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. Nothing more to be said when everything was understood in that eye contact.

It was a magical night with moon light glittering on the river, a soft chilly breeze blowing past, Orion her favorite constellation twinkling in the sky and Amu sitting beside her.

Lost Shutterbug: Far Away!

When we are on journey ,we tend to look ahead more rather than enjoying the current place.Perhaps,inquisitive nature of a man sums it up.And more often than not,lens do tend to cover far away views .

Presenting in this post the far away views that lens have captured:

  Even when you are far away from hustle bustle of city , you still want to keep a check on the city life.Yes,not much from home we are!

Even the faraway views has limitations : curves ,bends,shrubs and mist.This photograph has it all.And there are such junctions where we are unaware of what may come next.

 

As the sun sparkled in the dawn , many folds of mountain range become visible.. till it meet the horizon.

 

 

A thin roadstrip stretching past our vision .. daring to follow it to nowhere.

Wordle Special

There is an adage : A picture is worth a thousand words. But when you literally mean it ,wordle generates.
Now,first thing first : what is wordle? A cuddly word!! :P It is a tag cloud of the words most commonly mentioned on a site or a blog.While you are writing [and that too at such frequency],you don't realize that there have been some words which you use more than others and even if you haven't set a theme ,some common lines can definitely be seen.For that realization ,wordle is there which tells on the face,that what you write about.

Presenting you all ,my Wordle for Smiling Mystic Cloud:

Wordle is today's theme for WordCount Blogathon! :)

Life is Life not a race!

A dilapidated building often reminds me of a past which lost its charm. An abandoned car on the roadside with deflated tires and sand-soaked chassis depicts how things are forsaken when they become a history.

I was rushing towards a bus-stand as I was late yet again for my office. And there I saw a very old lady with a frail body which had borne the brunt of time, exhausted due to heat and unable to get hold of the surroundings around her. She was clueless about the direction she was going in. Some people who were as short of time as I was still tried to help her out, someone offered her water. Some tried to know about where she was up to but her inaudible voice was of no help. I stayed there for a few seconds unable to decide whether to leave the scene and catch my bus or go over to her and try to help. And like one clock-phobic, programmed machine I saw myself moving towards the bus-stand to catch the bus. But with each step that I took my soul cursed me and made my feet heavier. And my mind plunged into a thought.

One has often heard ‘life is a race’ and it indeed is. The ones with stronger legs running ahead and the weak are proving to be laggards. And in this clock-driven mad race we merely squint over the ones who are behind us. And those include the ones who have grayed their hair in the run-up of life. The generation which held our tiny fingers once and led our way to the other side of the road. But haven’t we missed one thing that those strong hands have now gotten feeble. We treat our older ones with huge respect, take care of all their needs and make sure they spend later years of their lives peacefully. But are all of them lucky enough to receive that care? The answer is a no for sure. Government has some plans (like the ones it has for everyone!), NGOs are there and so are the old-age homes. But like any other government scheme, or non-government support is not able to help each and every needful in this vast and populous country, the policies meant for lending help to the old are not sufficient. There are many out there, struggling with their survival, traveling miles in extreme heat or cold, receiving ill-treatment from their kin. Their best years are behind them, they are no longer sturdy enough to resist the atrocities of life. They need our help like we did when we were kids, and it’s not always a TV show, or a charity program or membership in an NGO which would act as a channel through which we could do the needful. Just look around, be it a bus-stand, railway station, roadside, market; anywhere we can easily find old people trudging through the path in want of their destination.

So I reached the bus-stand, and I saw my bus approaching. I was still thinking about that old lady. In that same moment I gazed around. And there I found a very old man, with a bent spine standing with the help of a stick. This time my mind was clear, I could get late for a few more minutes but I had to help him out. I left my bus and approached him. He was quite oblivious of the route numbers but he knew the place he wanted to go to. I held his hand stopped the bus going to his destined place and helped him go inside and find a seat. This was my bit, the small bit of help which was not meant for any charity but was a responsibility. A responsibility that I should have had shouldered a few minutes back when I saw that old lady or many such people in the past. These people are not those deserted old buildings, they are the roots over which we have grown and became whatever we are today. And no matter how many fruits a tree bears it gets nourished through its roots only. They don’t deserve to be left out to battle alone with their miseries.

Words no matter how strong or hard-hitting are still words if not translated into action. And these are not just words but also an appeal. Go out and help out, shell out a few minutes, help them catch a bus, bring them some water, guide them through the road crossing, find them their destination. We all are humans and we are wired to be social and helpful only if we let our instincts make us help someone and suspend our reservations for a few moments. Because we as a society are one, be it young or old we all need to support each other. And it is what they deserve, a calm, peaceful, secure life and it is our duty to let them have one.

This post is a guest post by entropyatmax  Thankyou! :)

Human : A social Animal

Human is an animal [Oh yeah the basic instincts] and also social one [atleast that is what is expected out of it].We all interact with fellow buddies and spent most of our time on the interaction part. That’s how we seldom get bored. There are so many out in the world, so many different interests , cultures, habits ,so many things to learn from .The more the merrier.

Remember the times when we used to meet often, spend time talking and talking, play games, share a cup of tea. That’s how we used to interact, not much into phones even. If someone lived far away, a sweet letter every month used to be exchanged. Now, things have changed and we have changed too. We just want to do everything conveniently .Between me and others there is a wall[the barrier I meant, not the facebook or twitter wall].Important things like which friend of yours is getting married or already got married or who is moving away to far flung places- all we get to know from such graffiti on walls.

These are the platforms created for the convenient communication .Let it be one of those, don’t make it the only way to communicate. Popularity of a person or I say credibility is measured by number of friends or followers in social networking sites. How much a person actually interact with the ‘friends’ is a mystery. The people whom you know best may not be there in your friend list even. Does that make them less important for you? A simple No. Facebook  or twitter is not the world.

There is a saying that a person cannot have more than a certain minimal number of actual friends. But going by the statistics, it’s hard to agree. Even when we click photos, we mostly do it with the intention of putting it online for others to see, admire and yes ‘like’.

The need of the hour for each one of us, is to be back at being a animal. Venture out, roam ,do real stuff ,play Pictionary while traveling, do gardening instead of Farmville [though not advising indulging in mafia wars or playing poker]Those would be the moments that would be flashed in front of your eyes as you leave the world. Not the decorated perfect timeline that you have managed.

Akanksha is now searching for photos to gel well with this article and post it online for others to like or comment! Such is life!!